Breakups are never easy to go through, no matter what stage you’re in. Whether you and your partner broke up three days ago or three years ago, it can take some time before you feel normal again. You may feel depressed, anxious, or even completely lost as to where your life is going from here. But with the right steps, you can get through this breakup without losing your mind. We’ve put together seven actionable steps to help you get through your breakup and get back on your feet quickly and smoothly. Let’s get started!
7 Steps to Getting Through a Breakup Without Losing Your Sanity
1) The Stages of a Breakup
Many people who go through breakups are shocked by how difficult it is. The pain can feel like an injury from which you will never recover and the emotional bruises can take weeks, months, and sometimes even years to heal. The stages of a breakup include shock, denial, isolation, anger, depression, the emotional roller coaster, and finally acceptance. The initial shock can leave you feeling numb and detached, denial is when you want to believe that things will change, and isolation happens when you don’t feel like yourself and therefore makes it hard to be around others. Feeling angry is another natural part of healing and feeling upset that things did not work out as you had imagined they would. Depression can feel like complete despair and leave you feeling like you don’t know what’s going on in your head or heart. Everyone’s experience is unique and may look different. It can feel like an emotional roller coaster going back and forth between all these feelings until you can properly heal and experience acceptance.
2) Don’t Suppress Your Feelings
It’s okay to feel angry, numb, or shocked. It’s okay to cry. Suppressing your feelings can make the healing process more difficult because it is not giving your mind a chance to process what has happened. Allow yourself to feel your emotions, cry, listen to music, paint, dance, and work through them in your own way of self-expression. Although it is important to feel your emotions because your emotions are completely valid and matter, you just want to make sure you also make time for things that bring you joy.
3) Don’t Try to Win Them Back
Don’t try to win them back. It’s unlikely that you’ll succeed. Focus on taking care of yourself, and focus on the time when you’ll feel strong enough to be in a healthy relationship again. Remember the reasons that led to the breakup and know that you are capable of a loving relationship. This pain is temporary even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time.
4) Unfollow Them on Social Media
Social media can be an easy place to stay connected with your ex. But even if you’re not following them, they’ll still be able to see you because they’ll have mutual friends who will tag them in your posts. So the best thing you can do is unfollow them on all of your social media accounts and avoid checking theirs. Once that’s done and when you feel ready, you can consider deleting any photos or messages from them on your phone so it doesn’t pop up every time you open it up.
5) Get rid of Their Stuff
It’s not easy, but one of the best ways you can get through a breakup is by getting rid of their stuff. Whether it be photos, clothes, or letters, take the time to collect all the things they’ve left behind and throw them away. All those memories and thoughts that come with their items may give you mixed feelings about your relationship. These items may even carry energy to them that isn’t healthy for you. Another therapeutic activity can be burning pictures or letters as a way of closing that door. Of course, be careful with this one, a bonfire should help! If you feel you are not ready for this step, gathering the belongings and putting them out of sight is also helpful. Remember that this is your journey, so whatever you need to do in order to move forward is what matters most. Prioritizing your needs during this difficult time is what’s important because your healing matters.
6) Talk to a Therapist
Talking through your feelings with someone who is trained can really help you get through a breakup and be able to move on. Therapy is one of the most important ways of getting through a breakup so you have a safe space to share and process.
7) Give Yourself Time to Heal
The best thing you can do when dealing with the aftermath of a breakup is to give yourself time to heal. This can take anywhere from two weeks up to six months or more, and it’s different for everyone. It’s important that you not allow yourself to be isolated and be mindful of not turning into someone that you’re not during this time. When you’re feeling ready, it’s a good idea to seek out some form of therapy for guidance on your healing journey.
Head over to “Appointment Request” at inwardhealingtherapy.com to request an initial consultation and get started with a therapist who understands.