Fostering Genuine Friendships Part 2: A Guide on Managing Anxious and Avoidant Attachment
This is a common theme I hear from clients. Many of them are high-achieving individuals — they hold demanding jobs, run marathons, pursue advanced degrees — yet underneath it all, they carry a quiet, persistent feeling: “I’m still not enough.”
They often recognize and admire the accomplishments of others. They’ll cheer a friend on for finishing a project or landing a promotion. But when it comes to themselves, there’s always another mountain to climb, another thing they think they should have done better.
Can you relate to this? If so, your internal dialogue might sound like:
“I’m not enough.”
“I don’t look good enough.”
“I don’t do enough.”
“I don’t make enough money.”
“I’m not where I want to be.”
“They choose other people over me.”
“If only I were taller, fitter, more disciplined…”
If this sounds like you, you are not alone.
Many people who come to therapy carry some version of these beliefs. So, the real question becomes: how do we begin to shift these thoughts?