Breakups are never easy to go through, no matter what stage you’re in. Whether you and your partner broke up three days ago or three years ago, it can take some time before you feel normal again. You may feel depressed, anxious, or even completely lost as to where your life is going from here. But with the right steps, you can get through this breakup without losing your mind. We’ve put together seven actionable steps to help you get through your breakup and get back on your feet quickly and smoothly. Let’s get started!
7 Steps to Getting Through a Breakup Without Losing Your Sanity
1. Understanding the Stages of a Breakup
Many people are surprised by how overwhelming a breakup can feel. The pain may seem like an emotional wound that will never heal, with lingering effects that can last for weeks, months, or even years. Breakups often follow a series of stages, including shock, denial, isolation, anger, depression, emotional turbulence, and ultimately, acceptance.
In the beginning, shock may leave you feeling numb and detached. Denial follows, where you may find yourself hoping things will change, and isolation can set in as you feel disconnected from others. Anger is a natural response, as you grapple with unmet expectations, and depression can bring a profound sense of despair, leaving you feeling lost and unsure of yourself.
Each journey is unique, and no two experiences look the same. It’s common to feel as though you’re on an emotional roller coaster, cycling through these stages until healing gradually brings acceptance.
2. Allow Yourself to Feel Your Emotions
It’s natural to feel angry, numb, or in shock, and it’s perfectly okay to cry. Suppressing these emotions can make healing harder, as it prevents your mind from fully processing what has happened. Give yourself permission to feel—whether that means crying, listening to music, painting, dancing, or finding other ways to express yourself. Your emotions are valid, and allowing yourself to experience them is an important part of healing. Just remember to balance this with moments that bring you joy, creating space for comfort alongside your grief.
3. Resist the Urge to Reconnect
Resist the urge to try to win them back, as it’s unlikely to bring the outcome you hope for. Instead, focus on caring for yourself and trust that, in time, you’ll feel strong enough to pursue a healthy relationship again. Remind yourself of the reasons behind the breakup and know that you’re deserving of a loving, fulfilling partnership. Even though the pain may feel overwhelming right now, remember that it is temporary and will lessen with time.
4. Distance on Social Media
Social media makes it easy to stay connected with your ex, even unintentionally. Even if you’ve unfollowed them, mutual friends can still bring their presence into your feed. The best step you can take is to unfollow or unfriend them on all social media platforms and resist the urge to check their profiles. When you’re ready, consider removing any photos or messages from your phone to prevent unexpected reminders. This distance can be a crucial step in helping you focus on your own healing.
5. Remove Physical Reminders
Letting go of your ex's belongings can be challenging, but it’s one of the most effective ways to navigate a breakup. Take the time to gather any photos, clothes, or letters they’ve left behind and decide to remove them from your space. These items can evoke mixed emotions and may carry an energy that isn’t conducive to your healing. If you’re comfortable, consider a therapeutic act like burning pictures or letters to symbolize closing that chapter—just be sure to do so safely, perhaps with a controlled fire. If you’re not ready to part with everything, simply putting these items out of sight can be helpful. Remember, this is your journey, and prioritizing your needs is essential during this difficult time. Your healing is what truly matters.
6. Seek Support from a Therapist
Talking through your feelings with someone who is trained can really help you get through a breakup and be able to move on. Therapy is one of the most important ways of getting through a breakup so you have a safe space to share and process.
7. Give Yourself Time and Space to Heal
The best thing you can do when dealing with the aftermath of a breakup is to give yourself time to heal. This can take anywhere from two weeks up to six months or more, and it’s different for everyone. It’s important that you not allow yourself to be isolated and be mindful of not turning into someone that you’re not during this time. When you’re feeling ready, it’s a good idea to seek out some form of therapy for guidance on your healing journey.
Moving Forward After a Breakup
Now that you’ve taken steps to process your emotions and create distance, it’s time to focus on what lies ahead. Moving forward can be challenging, but this is also an opportunity to rediscover yourself and rebuild a life that reflects your goals, values, and desires.
Rediscover Your Interests and Passions
After a breakup, finding joy in your own company and passions is key. Take this time to explore activities you enjoy or have always wanted to try. Whether it’s reading, hiking, or learning a new skill, reconnecting with your interests will help rebuild your confidence and sense of self.
Set Personal Goals
Breaking up doesn’t just mark the end of a relationship—it also offers a fresh start. Set personal goals, no matter how small, that give you a sense of purpose. This could be anything from advancing in your career to adopting a new fitness routine. Focusing on self-improvement can help you see this phase as a time of growth.
Nurture Supportive Relationships
Leaning on friends and family helps strengthen your support network. These relationships can provide comfort, laughter, and perspective as you heal. Allow yourself to connect with others and open up about what you’re going through, knowing that you’re not alone in this journey.
Embrace New Experiences
Trying new activities or stepping out of your comfort zone can help redefine who you are outside of the relationship. Consider joining a class, volunteering, or even traveling to a new place. New experiences can inspire you and remind you of all the possibilities that lie ahead.
Practice Self-Love and Gratitude
As you move forward, make self-compassion a priority. Be kind to yourself as you navigate this journey, and celebrate small victories along the way. Practicing gratitude, even for minor daily joys, can help shift your focus from what’s missing to what’s present, reminding you of the progress you’re making.
Conclusion
Breaking up is never easy, but each step you take toward healing brings you closer to a renewed sense of self. By allowing yourself to grieve, setting boundaries, and focusing on personal growth, you’re not only moving past the pain but also paving the way for a fulfilling future. Remember, healing is a journey, and it’s okay to take it one day at a time.
If you’re ready to take the next step in your healing journey, reach out to Inward Healing Therapy. Schedule a consultation at inwardhealingtherapy.com and connect with a therapist who can support you through this process.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
- 1. How long does it take to get over a breakup?
- The healing process varies for everyone and can depend on factors like the length of the relationship and individual coping mechanisms. It can take anywhere from a few weeks to several months to start feeling more at peace. Be patient with yourself, and remember that progress isn’t always linear.
- 2. Is it okay to still feel sad even months after the breakup?
- Yes, it’s completely normal to experience sadness for an extended period. Emotions often resurface unexpectedly, and that’s part of healing. Give yourself grace and continue focusing on supportive habits and self-care.
- 3. Should I avoid dating until I’m fully over my ex?
- While there’s no set timeline, it’s often best to wait until you feel emotionally ready. Jumping into a new relationship too soon can sometimes hinder healing. Take the time to reconnect with yourself first, so you enter future relationships from a place of wholeness.
- 4. How do I stop obsessing over my ex or the relationship?
- This can be challenging, but setting boundaries like unfollowing your ex on social media and removing physical reminders can help. Engaging in activities you enjoy and spending time with supportive friends can also shift your focus and reduce obsessive thoughts over time.
- 5. When is it time to seek help from a therapist?
- If you’re finding it difficult to manage your emotions, feeling isolated, or struggling to move forward, a therapist can provide valuable support. Therapy offers a safe space to process your feelings and gain tools for coping, helping you heal at your own pace.